Deepest Desires
by eponnia
Summary: "Am I truly so twisted with sin that I created this, out of the depths of my own mind? Not this. Never this." A look at what could have happened in the Dark Island scene in the 2010 VDT film. Rated M for graphic descriptions of violence. Edmund-centric one-shot.


**AUTHOR'S NOTE: While watching the VDT film recently, I was again an audience to just how poorly the Dark Island scene was handled. The island made you a prisoner to your mind, not making your nightmares a physical reality. The sea serpent should not have been in that scene.**

**In the book, the Dark Island is about nightmares, not your worst fears. But in the film, Coriakin mentioned that it also dealt with your darkest dreams (or as I like to think of it, your deepest desires). With that in mind, I watched the Deathwater scene where Edmund revealed that he had always been inferior, second place, in the shadow of Peter and Caspian, and wanted to rule in his own right. **

**That set me thinking as the Dark Island scene came up. Edmund does not seem the type of person who would be afraid of sea serpents, and I highly doubt it was his deepest desire to battle one.**

**What if his deepest desire was to get Peter out of the way? **

* * *

_Am I truly so twisted with sin that I created this, out of the depths of my own mind?_

_Not this. Never this. _

Heart pounding, Edmund watched as the green mist gathered before him on the deck of the _Dawn Treader_. A shape stepped from it, a figure that haunted his dreams standing on the deck as real as the ship itself.

"No," he breathed.

He faintly heard Lucy say his name, barely aware that the entire crew had stopped to stare at him, but the horror blocked out everything. Perhaps it was the mist, he didn't know, but all he was certain of was that Jadis stood before him.

It was as if she had stepped directly from the past, from the day they first met in the winter-encased Narnia just outside the wardrobe. She wore that dress like a waterfall, wrapped in furs with a crown of ice, skin as pale as snow.

"You."

"Have you missed me, dear boy?" she asked in a silky voice.

"Leave." Edmund was aware of the voices of Caspian, of Lucy on the edge of his hearing, but Edmund could not have looked away if he tried; as he looked at her, he saw she held her scepter that turned victims to stone.

"Do you think that will work on me, Edmund?" Jadis said with a mirthless laugh.

"I order you in Aslan's name!"

"You'll have to do better than name the King I killed."

"He's alive. You may have killed Him but Aslan's alive. You're dead."

"You can never kill me, silly boy." He tried to step forward, to plunge his sword through her heart, but found himself unable to move, held back by some invisible force. "But I have so much more to show you." Jadis waved a hand, and another figure appeared, lying beaten and bloody on the deck. The golden-haired man was covered in stab wounds, gaping holes littering his body and once-vibrant armor mangled beyond repair. A heavy crown was on his head, digging into his scalp and lined with blood.

"Peter!" Horror coursed through Edmund's veins like ice as he recognized his brother. Blood bubbled at Peter's lips as he lay paralyzed with agony, raspy breaths rattling in his chest.

"Isn't this what you wanted?" Jadis whispered in his ear, suddenly at his side. "He cannot rule now. He will never stop you from taking your rightful place as High King."

"No, this isn't what I wanted," Edmund managed to choke out, looking at Peter's body slowly draining of life.

"You shall have what you wanted," Jadis said, moving to stand over Peter as the dying king uttered a strangled groan. She lifted her scepter, and Edmund was instantly aware of what she was about to do.

"No!" he screamed, but she paid him no heed as she plunged the scepter into Peter's chest.

"_This_ is your darkest desire," Jadis said as she wrenched the dripping weapon, glistening with blood, from the writhing body of her victim. "_This_ is your deepest dream."

"No, not this. _Never_ this."

"Oh, but it is what you wanted," she said, raising the scepter again. Without hesitation, she stabbed Peter in the throat. As she pulled it from the gaping wound, Edmund suddenly realized that his brother was not dying, which would have been kinder. He still writhed in pain, destroyed lungs still working somehow in his caving chest. Edmund could even see his brother's ribs amid torn flesh and seeping blood. As Jadis pierced Peter's body again in the heart, a horrific scream of utter agony came from the man tortured beyond all reason, ringing in Edmund's head.

"Take me!" he begged, feeling himself go half mad while being able to do nothing, nothing, _nothing_ at all. "Kill me instead!"

"One more thing," Jadis said, reaching down to her victim. She removed Peter's crown, the one Aslan had named him High King with so many years ago, and she held it out, slick with blood, to Edmund.

"Here it is. What you wanted."

"I will not take Peter's crown! It's not yours to give!"

"But it's just waiting for you, Edmund. Go on," she whispered. "Take it."

"Not at the price of my brother's life."

"You desired him to be out of the way. You wanted his place as High King."

"In the name of Aslan," Edmund said in a strained but somehow firm voice, "I order you to return to whatever depths of hell you came from. I banish you from here. I am in control of my own mind, not you! I do not wish Peter dead!"

The green mist disappeared, Jadis and Peter with it.

Edmund fell to his knees, awareness of his surroundings returning but not caring as the entire crew stared in shock. His sword fell from his numb grasp, clattering to the deck. He felt tears streaming down his cheeks, unable to get the image of Peter's body out of his mind.

"Edmund?"

He looked up to see Lucy standing before him. As he staggered to his feet, she pulled him into an embrace and he held her tightly as the crew looked away.

"I saw Jadis," he began brokenly. "She had Peter and she was torturing him but he wouldn't die and she kept stabbing him, over and over…"

Lucy pulled back to look at him, waiting for him to continue with a serious expression.

"She offered me his crown and place as High King but I couldn't take it…" Tears coursed down his cheeks afresh.

"Of course you couldn't," Lucy said, reaching up to brush a strand of hair from his sweat-beaded forehead.

"Am I truly so twisted with sin that I created this, out of the depths of my own mind? Did I desire Peter's torture?"

"No," Lucy answered, shaking her head. "You wanted Peter out of the way, you said so yourself at Deathwater. That may be your deepest _desire_, but this place takes that and turns it into a nightmare you believed came true."

"Me?" Edmund asked. "Did none of you see that?"

"We just saw you fighting for Peter. You were as brave as a lion, Ed. You asked to be killed in Peter's place. That is true selflessness."

"That wasn't selflessness. That was going out my mind knowing there was nothing I could do."

Lucy smiled sadly. "Get some rest, Ed. You've earned it."

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: For those of you who have been keeping up with my other Narnia fics, the Suspian series - I am working on _Everlasting_, but inspiration for _Deepest Desires_ hit. Also, this is my first M rated story. **


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